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Whenever we talk of Indian wedding we try to equate it with arranged marriages. In India the social structure is such that we associate Indian marriages mainly with arranged marriages. Most of us feel that arranged marriage is the concept of Indian society, history tells us that arranged marriages existed even in the Victorian age. The history of England tells us that most of the kings and queens had arranged marriages. In India arranged marriages originated when child marriages was customary in the country. Caste system gave birth to arranged marriages, as the upper caste families didn't want their children to marry outside their community and caste. The concept of love marriage was a taboo in ancient India. But after World War II and industrial revolution people's perception started changing and they became familiar with the concept of love marriages. In India the influence of the British culture gave rise to love marriages. The idea, which was once a taboo, became more open and acceptable in the Indian society, but this change was seen only among the educated and high society, the rural India remained ignorant and unaware of love marriages. In spite of the social changes arranged marriages still persist.
Love or arranged marriages is still a debatable topic in the Indian society. People still debate which one is better. What should be the basis of the marriage love or social norms? We are still confused about these issues. Education and media played a vital role in changing the perception of the Indian mind. As people started thinking beyond the social customs and traditions of arranged marriages. They realized that they have the right to choose their partner without any of social pressures. It is after all their life. They can decide without having to rely on parents, relatives and matchmakers. Now in India people are open to love marriages. It is no more forbidden in the society and are now adopting to a concept of Arranged Love Marriages.
If we start comparing love and arranged marriages we will see that both have certain pros and cons. But the common factor in both the concepts is physical attraction. When a man and a woman go out on their first date physical attraction is the deciding factor. Same in case of arranged marriage where the relation starts only after the girl or boy likes each other. But there are certain things, which are found in love marriages and not in arranged. Like spending time together and getting to know each other. Because when you have decided to spend your life together it is important you know the person. There should be metal compatibility and understanding among both, and this can only happen when you spend time together. People may argue that even after knowing each other for so long why people get divorced after a love marriage. It is because when two people are in love they are at their best to impress each other. They behave, they talk and they wear what the other person likes. But it is after marriage that you get to know the real person. There are couples who are still discovering each other even after twenty years of their marriage. This is the actual beauty of a relationship where everyday you discover some thing new about your partner.
In case of arranged marriages the relation starts when the girl and the boy get to know each other in a couple of meeting before the final commitment. Before deciding anything the parents check the family background and financial stability. Which is also very important. Most people think that those who go for arranged marriage are not in an advantageous position, but it's not so you may get the right person for whom you have been waiting. Even in love marriages after many years of courtship people find their partner not suitable and they break up. So it is not about spending time together but successful marriage is all about understanding and respecting each other's feelings, love and concern. It is argued that love marriages offer more independence and freedom as compared to arranged marriages since both of them know each other so the social and family pressures are less. If you know somebody before marriage it allows partners to have better respect and understanding for each other's needs and desires. In love marriages expectations are more compared to arrange marriages, as they know each other and want their partner to act in the best possible manner.
Arranged marriages, offer more protection and security to the women as the parents decide the family. Parents make use of their maturity and decision while choosing suitable spouses for their children. The decision of parents sometimes helps to make the right choice. But it doesn't mean that arranged marriages are ideal marriages. Even in an arranged marriage there is a different sort of social pressure. Social evils like dowry, caste system, matching of horoscopes and community issues are taken at such extreme levels that people don't support arranged marriages. >>r