How long does it take to get over a long time relationship breakup?

May 31, 2009 - 12:11 am 18 Comments

I just broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years and am wondering how much longer I have to suffer. Can somebody with similar experience tell me how long it took for them?

It depends on a lot of things- you, him, the relationship, etc.

I dated someone for a year and dropped them in a day.

Dated another person for 8 months and also dropped them in a day.

I dated someone for a month, and although the pain is gone, my heart is still with him, and I think about him still sometimes.

4 years is a long time. It might take you 5 months to really stop hurting, and maybe a year to let go. It might take you 6 months to be completely over it. It all depends. But there are things you can do to ease your pain. Go out as much as you can and have a good time. Stay single and keep yourself busy at all times so you don;t find yourself thinking about him / dwelling in the pain. After a month or 2, go on a date with no attatchments. Flirt with other guys. Putting yourself out in the world will help you get over it faster, staying at home and crying will only worsen the situation.

Everyone goes through this and gets through it. You're not alone, and you will get over him. Even if you feel like you never, ever will- trust me, you will.

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18 Responses to “How long does it take to get over a long time relationship breakup?”

  1. APC1 Says:

    depends only of you
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  2. missing u2323 Says:

    it took me 3months till i found Mr.Right
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  3. painfullyaverage Says:

    it takes as long as it takes. welcome to the breakup journey.

    it won't take forever, though, that's for sure. you'll know it's over when you can go a day or two without thinking about him.
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  4. Wite Out Says:

    thats going to be tough especially what the circumstances were that broke you up..
    it all depends..just keep your mind occupied on other things like school(if your in it), work, hobbies, family, etc.
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  5. Fun Lovin' Girl Says:

    It depends on the circumstances of departure, who did the leaving, and how much animosity you harbor toward your ex.
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  6. kirbyboy19 Says:

    two years, 14 days, 20 hours, 15 minutes and 6 seconds.
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  7. benjilove Says:

    Everyone is different, but in my experience, it takes about 3 months for the really bad pain to let up and then about a year to completely feel "over it".
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  8. Link Correon Says:

    I know someone who had a boyfriend for 6 years, and the pain of it went away in a few months but the memories are still with her today. (8 years after the breakup). The easiest cure is to be happy with your life.
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  9. fleur Says:

    you donot get over relationships! even animals sometimes dont. cant.
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  10. eng_meda Says:

    if u really loved him so i'm sorry to tell u it will take forever n u won't forget him
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    me

  11. Rommie Says:

    I broke up with my boyfriend after 2 years. It took me several months to get over him. It depends on how you feel. You will know when it's time to end the suffering on move on.
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  12. Ladder Captain-29 Says:

    it takes as long as you let it– you need to do things and start experiencing life again– time will heal your heart but you need to jump start it– good luck
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  13. keevy Says:

    everybody is different it took me months to get over my first long term relationship and a few days to get over the next one so it just depends on you and how bad the break-up was but dont worry you will get over it
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  14. ^^ANGEL^^ Says:

    I have a friend ..she was in a 3 years realtionship..so much in love..it took her 1 year to get over it ..
    I was in a 3 years relationship and i got over him just the next day we broke up ..!!
    So you c it depends on how much you loved the person ..do you really want to forget him and move on with your life ..and on your will..
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  15. JJ Says:

    It depends on a lot of things- you, him, the relationship, etc.

    I dated someone for a year and dropped them in a day.

    Dated another person for 8 months and also dropped them in a day.

    I dated someone for a month, and although the pain is gone, my heart is still with him, and I think about him still sometimes.

    4 years is a long time. It might take you 5 months to really stop hurting, and maybe a year to let go. It might take you 6 months to be completely over it. It all depends. But there are things you can do to ease your pain. Go out as much as you can and have a good time. Stay single and keep yourself busy at all times so you don;t find yourself thinking about him / dwelling in the pain. After a month or 2, go on a date with no attatchments. Flirt with other guys. Putting yourself out in the world will help you get over it faster, staying at home and crying will only worsen the situation.

    Everyone goes through this and gets through it. You're not alone, and you will get over him. Even if you feel like you never, ever will- trust me, you will.
    References :

  16. ros Says:

    Sorry to hear this christy! It can't be easy. You ask how long must you suffer … It really depends! Relationship break up scores pretty high on the scale of stress, it is similar to a bereavement as you go through the motions, from shock, dismay, to anger, self-blame etc. But, and similar to bereavement … You move on to acceptance. Indeed you're suffering but you know that the relationship is well and truly over. Only you can pick yourself up, and move on! It will take a while but no doubt your family and friends will help you and you have to help yourself too! Take things a day at a time until you feel a bit better and don't forget to plan ahead either! Get yourself something to look forward to, from a holiday next year, to anything else! This guy was obviously not the right one for you so off he goes, time for you to pick up the pieces, pamper yourself, enjoy being yourself, free from a relationship until you feel good enough about yourself, meet someone better and … You'll find yourself in a far better relationship! Meanwhile … Time to look at the most important relationship of all! Your own with yourself! Make yourself matter, and get to love and value yourself! You'll see it will all help.

    Best wishes
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  17. Oscar T Clown Says:

    Well as someone who was in a relationship for over 3 years that produced a child. I can tell you that for me it took close to 3 years to move on completely and fully. I found it difficult because even though I initiated the break-up I was wanting it so that could be where yours and my situations could be different. I found it difficult because he was still very involved in my childs life and seeing him made it harder to heal. The only thing that helped me personally was time and seeing that this man I thought I was in love with eventually turned out to be someone I really couldnt have loved at all. He changed in my eyes and I allowed myself to look for someone with more to offer. Some of the things you can do to "HEAL" are to hang out with friends, pamper yourself because when you feel good people notice, and make sure that the next relationship you come into you are ready for. I waited over 3 years after this break up to find my Mr.Right and Ive been with him for over 2 years now. How much longer you suffer depends on how much you allow yourself to suffer. You and only you can take the steps to be happy, spoil yourself. Time heals everything and Good luck to you…:)
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  18. still hurtin Says:

    i have been in a relationship for a total of 14 years and married for 9 of those years and have 3 children. we r gettin a divorce and im still having a hard time trying to cope with it but prayier heals anything and god is real. so we have to try our best to pick up the pieces and so what we can with the rest of our life.

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